tweet tweet

hello all. i need to reflect. you may all think i write this for your entertainment, but really it's my therapy session. [....and how does that make you feel?]


update:
herman has not telephoned but bravely approached me at the gym again a few days after our reunion. again, he caught me off guard, as it was more of him bravely sneaking up behind me. i had just got there so i was not sweaty nor a tomato shade. this time-my pants were on backwards. luckily, i'm pretty sure i was the only one aware of this. like before, he seemed to be in a hurry so there was even less small talk than before. i'm just glad he didn't hug me.


so, i recently made my own twitter account - mostly because i was seriously bored over christmas break and so i can stalk my girl crush, nicole richie (post her simple life days, of course). but i discovered something interesting...

...celebrities are obsessed with twitter. not all of them. but a lot of them. and not just celebrities, but people in general. exhibit A: kelly osbourne ranting about her now ex-fiance after xmas (which she deleted a lot of them off) and every other detail of her personal life. i was scared just reading the tweets. i could feel her yelling and in my head i saw kelly osbourne ripping her hair out, screaming at her computer as she punched the keyboard with her black nails. or a butcher knife. personally, i think he looks like an anorexic transvestite. probably because he posed for Candy - the first fashion magazine dedicated to cross dressing.

exhibit B: chelsea handler twitting pictures every 20 minutes of her dogs and her book agent, of whom she makes very clear is a homosexual-with every word and depiction>> existing for that label. i acutally enjoy this. i like having a visual paired with words. she's hilarious. and i love her for her whole relationship scandal with 50 cent. personally, i approve. who doesn't love a thug-rapper with bullet wound scars and a criminal record?

i could continue with examples but it would probably be boring. my point is - people love it. people try to tell me that they don't understand twitter. they tell me that they don't understand why people have the need to tell people what they are doing every hour of the day. but most of all they say, "who cares?"

we care. we are obsessed with knowing about other people's lives. it's the same reason why reality tv is such a hit (although 90% of that isn't real). we're curious-it's human nature. and there is no "not understanding" of twitter. it's a simple concept. as for the "need to tweet", i don't find it surprising that celebrities are twitter crazy. if they didn't like the spotlight, they wouldn't be in it advertising their lives. as for the rest of us, some people just want to be heard, some are just curious, and some are just bored.

whatever the reason, i've gotten a fair share of entertainment from it.

this is my life

more often than not, events happen in my life that reassure me that - if my life was a movie, it would be a comedy. my first pick would have been a musical but no one bothered to ask me.

here's my most recent, true comedic experience.


we all have times where we may have made better decisions in life. many of us have been in this certain circumstance: you meet a guy and both of you are mutually interested, things may or may not have happened a little too fast and ended faster than they actually began. such is life. in most cases, you never talk to that person again. it's mutual. no feelings are hurt, it's just understood that it might be better to pretend that you never met that person to begin with. again, this is most cases.


a few days ago i was at the gym (not uncommon, i know). it was pretty empty considering school had not yet started back up from christmas break. there was me, a few asians (again, not uncommon), and a couple of other strays.

in walks someone we'll call herman (for nooo reason at all other than identity protection purposes). the previous fable from above might apply here, but 3 years prior. we've seen each other around and nothing more than a simple "hello" was necessary - if acknowledgment was even necessary at all. so the fact that he and i were two of the five people walled in the surrounding 38,000 square feet didn't phase me. i mean, sure, i would prefer to stay at least 7ft away from said herman at all times, but that's to be expected.

i finish my 50 min treadmill trek and walk towards my cubby holding my coat and keys. needless to say, my face is a tomato red and sweat is dripping off any exposed skin on my body. distracted by my phone and not staying aware of my surroundings, i glance up and see herman. 3ft in front of me. 4ft out of bounds.

"hey!" he exclaims. and i only use the word "exclaim" when i mean it. this wasn't a yelling sort of exclamation either. this was optimistic. i might even go as far as to call this happy.

at first site of him, i was prepared to do my usually head nod of acknowledgment and go back to my unanswered text messages. and that is exactly what i did. i acknowledged him, there was no smile - absolutely no hint of comfort or friendliness on my face, and i went back to my text message. it was his happy pitched greeting that surprised me, causing me to cautiously glance back up. doomed.

"i haven't seen you in forever!" herman exclaims (again) in the same happy, optimistic voice. i, who has yet to utter a word in response, start to manage a, "uhh....." and then, before i know what is happening, herman's arms spread. oh. no.

"come here!" he says, and wraps his arms around me. let me reiterate: i am tomato red with sweat dripping off any exposed skin on my body. standing there confused with his arms around me, i lifted one of my arms to softly pat herman's back. ...what is happening?

he let's go of me and stands back (not far enough, so i back up into a bench were i take a seat....what is happening?) and repeats that he hasn't seen me in forever. this is not true. i saw him multiple times at the gym last semester. we did not speak. "did you study abroad?" he asks. i tell him yes.. but that was a year ago. and i know you have checked out my facebook in the last year. so you know what the answer to that question is. he continues with his small talk with a sort of hurry in his voice as i answer his questions with a sort of... tranquilized... voice.

after about five minutes he says he has to go. i'm relieved. as he starts to walk away he looks back and exclaims(again), "give me a call sometime!" "uh...yeah," i say back, ready for this meeting to just be over. ...is that a joke? "do you still have my number?" he asks. guess it's not a joke. i look up at him from my seat on the bench with a sort of blank look on my face. most definitely, no. i look back to my phone and search my phone book to pretend to check as he's walking back toward me. damn it. "uh, no i don't. wait - do you even still have my number?" i ask. i mean, come on, let's be real here. "uh, i don't know here i'll give you mine and you can call me." "....ok...." so i did. and herman was gone.


herman has yet to contact me. and i have no intention of calling herman. i'm not even trying to figure out why he choose now after all these years to talk to me. maybe he was less intimated when i was a completely hideous sweat ball. if so, i don't blame him.

viva españa

exactly one year ago today, i first stepped foot onto a land far, far away some like to call spain [others call it españa]. in dedication to basically the biggest adventure of my life thus far, here are some of the pictures i took within the first 24 hours of mi vida en españa.


...ok well, above is in the airport in 'merica saying goodbye to my sister. under is legitimately the very first pic i took - my bedroom!!!






















































ahh. magical.

the dilemma of 2011

people keep getting married.

or having babies. or both. and when i say "people" i mean "people my age that i used to throw rocks at on the playground". i've seen these people as children, and now they themselves are spawning children. and when i say "i've seen these people as children" i mean "i've seen these people piss their pants and cry when they were 8 years old". and when i say "spawning" i mean "spawning".

this freaks me the f*** out. mostly because i still consider myself a child. minus the pissing my pants part.


.....the worst part is i know this is going to happen again in about 20 years when their kids are getting married and having kids. i'll have seen 3 generations of piss pants.

to all of you who are getting married/having babies, do not be confused- i do congratulate you and am truly happy for you. i'm just not jealous. ...yet.

alright enough about pissing pants. this is serious, people. marriage. babies. the future is closer than you think. and i'm sitting here trying to plan for the future while at the same time having no expectations. i'm thinking about my career - the when, where, how's - and i used to have a pretty good idea of what that involved. now all this marriage+babies shit is getting to my head and i'm thinking about family, homes, minivans and what color leashes i want for my kids. and let me tell you, these 2 things (career+family) are at complete opposite ends of the nicole lee life spectrum.

here's the problem:










career wants this^ family calls for this^

obviously, in both cases i am a millionaire. and, yes, that is the plaza hotel in new york to the left. so i may have watched home alone 2 too many times. sue me, they're my dreams not yours. i also plan on having tim curry bring me banana splits and dry clean my underwear. i'll tip him with chewing gum.

speaking of tim curry, check this out:

.....yep. that just blew your mind a little didn't it. these are just a few of the tim curry images that have had a solid impact on my life - as well as the voice of Hexxus in fern gully (with the famous line "mother's milk" ...well, famous to my roommates and i).


anyway we're getting a little of topic. i'm not having babies or getting married. but i am graduating this year. which means a career will be happening very soon. and while it's very tempting for me to run off to the plaza hotel in the big apple, i know some day i will want to get married and have kids that tim curry will thoroughly confuse and scare the shit out of.


i'll call this predicament i'm in the Dilemma of 2011. wish me luck on solving this puzzle. advice, persuasion, opinions, and cash bribes are all welcome. ;)

que sera, sera

so i dumped new guy.

problem 1: i hung out with him a total of 3 times and the dude thought we were dating. um. no.

problem 2: he was totally boring. i think half of this was due to him being self-conscious/nervous- but that's another problem. he was self-conscious and nervous. i need someone that is pretty damn comfortable with themselves because i can't do that for you. i am me, you are you and if you're are not ok with one or both of those, i can't help you.

plus. i thought rugby players were supposed to be outgoing, social (crazy, beer-chugging, reckless) guys? what happened, world....


another thing that's been on my mind (since it's the beginning of a new decade and all)... i feel like there's something wrong with/some reorganization needed regarding the phrase "it just wasn't meant to be." this sentence has been bothering me for about a month now because it's just so.... depressing. because obviously whatever "it" is was truly wanted and hoped for and "it" didn't happen. and since i believe in fate and que sera, sera and all that jazz - my understanding is that this sentence is backwards. "it wasn't meant to be" should actually be "IT (because "it" is what is happening and what is supposed to be happening) was meant to be."

so repeat after me, folks: it was meant to be. because, whatever you're doing, whatever is happening, and whatever "it" is, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.


.....unless we're talking about new guy, because that was NOT meant to be. ;)


don't know about you guys, but i could use a little bit of both of these in my life right about now >>

oh, how i miss the sweat-soaked, haggard-hollering porters on a hot night at the stadium. yuummmmmy.

hope everyone had a wonderful new years. oh, and if you're wondering how the VS transformation is going... can you pass the cookies, please?