this is my life

more often than not, events happen in my life that reassure me that - if my life was a movie, it would be a comedy. my first pick would have been a musical but no one bothered to ask me.

here's my most recent, true comedic experience.


we all have times where we may have made better decisions in life. many of us have been in this certain circumstance: you meet a guy and both of you are mutually interested, things may or may not have happened a little too fast and ended faster than they actually began. such is life. in most cases, you never talk to that person again. it's mutual. no feelings are hurt, it's just understood that it might be better to pretend that you never met that person to begin with. again, this is most cases.


a few days ago i was at the gym (not uncommon, i know). it was pretty empty considering school had not yet started back up from christmas break. there was me, a few asians (again, not uncommon), and a couple of other strays.

in walks someone we'll call herman (for nooo reason at all other than identity protection purposes). the previous fable from above might apply here, but 3 years prior. we've seen each other around and nothing more than a simple "hello" was necessary - if acknowledgment was even necessary at all. so the fact that he and i were two of the five people walled in the surrounding 38,000 square feet didn't phase me. i mean, sure, i would prefer to stay at least 7ft away from said herman at all times, but that's to be expected.

i finish my 50 min treadmill trek and walk towards my cubby holding my coat and keys. needless to say, my face is a tomato red and sweat is dripping off any exposed skin on my body. distracted by my phone and not staying aware of my surroundings, i glance up and see herman. 3ft in front of me. 4ft out of bounds.

"hey!" he exclaims. and i only use the word "exclaim" when i mean it. this wasn't a yelling sort of exclamation either. this was optimistic. i might even go as far as to call this happy.

at first site of him, i was prepared to do my usually head nod of acknowledgment and go back to my unanswered text messages. and that is exactly what i did. i acknowledged him, there was no smile - absolutely no hint of comfort or friendliness on my face, and i went back to my text message. it was his happy pitched greeting that surprised me, causing me to cautiously glance back up. doomed.

"i haven't seen you in forever!" herman exclaims (again) in the same happy, optimistic voice. i, who has yet to utter a word in response, start to manage a, "uhh....." and then, before i know what is happening, herman's arms spread. oh. no.

"come here!" he says, and wraps his arms around me. let me reiterate: i am tomato red with sweat dripping off any exposed skin on my body. standing there confused with his arms around me, i lifted one of my arms to softly pat herman's back. ...what is happening?

he let's go of me and stands back (not far enough, so i back up into a bench were i take a seat....what is happening?) and repeats that he hasn't seen me in forever. this is not true. i saw him multiple times at the gym last semester. we did not speak. "did you study abroad?" he asks. i tell him yes.. but that was a year ago. and i know you have checked out my facebook in the last year. so you know what the answer to that question is. he continues with his small talk with a sort of hurry in his voice as i answer his questions with a sort of... tranquilized... voice.

after about five minutes he says he has to go. i'm relieved. as he starts to walk away he looks back and exclaims(again), "give me a call sometime!" "uh...yeah," i say back, ready for this meeting to just be over. ...is that a joke? "do you still have my number?" he asks. guess it's not a joke. i look up at him from my seat on the bench with a sort of blank look on my face. most definitely, no. i look back to my phone and search my phone book to pretend to check as he's walking back toward me. damn it. "uh, no i don't. wait - do you even still have my number?" i ask. i mean, come on, let's be real here. "uh, i don't know here i'll give you mine and you can call me." "....ok...." so i did. and herman was gone.


herman has yet to contact me. and i have no intention of calling herman. i'm not even trying to figure out why he choose now after all these years to talk to me. maybe he was less intimated when i was a completely hideous sweat ball. if so, i don't blame him.