reunion

recently, i had a run in with an ex at the bar.

well, not really an ex. we were never actually dating. we just... spent some time together? in all honesty, it was more of me having a huge grade school crush and waiting around for him to realize how awesome i am. well, that never happened--due to a variety of possibilities: a) he's a slow learner b) i got tired of waiting c) he was a jerk and d) most likely, he just didn't like me that much. throughout our entire relationship-or whatever it was- there wasn't one day that i wasn't utterly confused about what was going on. using one word to sum up the affair: exhausting.

anyway, we had a falling out. occasionally-rarely-we'd see each other. a few texts exchanged here and there. really, i was just trying to keep my distance so that i didn't have to waste any more life with the anxiety, worry, and stress of overanalyzing mediocre flattery and indecisive behavior.

with all this said, one would wonder why i was smiling like a school girl, completely smitten when i bumped into him the other night. ...damn it.

we say hello and bicker about why neither of us has contacted the other. i'm sure i laugh at his bad jokes and swoon at his lazy attempt to converse while thinking "what is wronggggg with me???" (in his defense, he was pretty drunk already. and i was drunk because HERMAN was buying me shots... but that's another story). he leaves shortly after our conversation. through my peripheral vision i see him walking to the door. i turn my head and look at him. he's looking at me. he stops, stares, and smiles. ...i'm a goner.

the next day, he texts.

"good to finally see you. but i was absolutely hammered last night."

me: "yeah i wasn't too far from that also hah"

"we will have to try again another night when i can remember stuff"

....oh, we will?

me: "you know where to find me"

"not really haha"

...i meant you have my number, and you are capable of calling or texting me if you would like to find me. but i'll play along.

me: "***** (the bar we were in) is a safe bet"

"hahaha well i've been almost every night the last five or so"

....cool dude.

me: "damn kid. might as well move your stuff in."

"my point being how is that the only time i've seen you"

...where is this going...

me: "must have not been looking"

"oh i have been"

...oh...no... oh no. this can not start again. this is where i run into the living room to ask my roommates what to say because my brain is no longer capable of reasonable thinking. this is what we decide-

me: "haha not hard enough"


and that's it. a good conclusion.



....what is happening?