job me

here are all of the cities where i have applied for jobs. [i'm noticing a water or mountain trend here...] i can't remember all of them, and i will continue applying until i get a job - so don't limit my final destination to these locations. you may picture me in these places as you please.

duh.
salt lake city
san fran

phoenix

jacksonville, where my mother was born
staton island
brooklyn
albuquerque

texty time

here's some dialogue between me and a man friend. enjoy.

"so you know how i was getting tattooed today well i went and waited 2 hours and the dude never showed up. i think i'm the only one that has ever happened to."

me: "it's a sign"

"i was afraid of that"

me: "what do you think"

"i don't want to agree with so i'm pushing those thoughts away even though you might be right"

"but hey they have my 100 dollar deposit so i better get some ink on my body"

me: "dudeee yeah you have to"

me: "get my name on your butt"

"i would but i have a small ass and would only be able to fit 'nick' on there even tho we both know what it would mean other people might take it as gay"

me: "that excuse was gay"

"maybe it's a sign"

me: "if you're gay, does that mean i'm a lesbian?"

"idk that's kind of hot"

me: "yeah, you're def not gay"

soul (wo)man

Lately I've been working on something. My soul.

While talking with a friend about her recent break up with a guy she had been dating for about 6 years (and trust me, I can’t even comprehend this. I’m not even really sure what the word “relationship” means yet—and Webster gives too many options.), she said something that kind of rose my soul from the dead. Well... it wasn’t dead. But it woke up.

She was explaining her ex’s sad, then angry post-breakup behavior. My response was, stating the obvious, “You broke his heart.”

“Yeah, well, he kind of crapped on my soul.”

Of course I laughed when she said this. And I’m not surprised to hear something like this come out of her mouth. This friend of mine is very in-tune with the realm of wholeness and nature, without even trying. It’s like she some kind of spiritual guru in the body of 22 year old who knows how to work hard but knows how to party harder. I’m not saying she’s some loony meditating in a Zen garden somewhere whispering to herself. She has stress and anxiety just like anyone (and maybe even more at times) – and the girl can drink natty light like no other girl I know. I’m just saying she’s very in-tune with her inner self.

And when she said this, my insides sort of went zap and my soul – clearly pissed – said, “Yeah, I’ve been right here the whole time you selfish bastard, thanks for remembering.”

I think that subconsciously, I’ve been working on my soul for a while, I just didn’t realize it. I’d started paying attention to little things—things that affected my mood. Getting enough sleep so my brain can work. Pretty much sleep is like feeding my brain. Without food, we can’t live. Without sleep, my brain can’t. My brain feels full when I’ve had a good night’s sleep, and my mind is clear. I’ve paid attention to what foods make my body feel like shit after I eat them (for example, below),

and what foods don’t. Exercising has always been important to me. When my body doesn’t feel strong, the rest of me is weak.

All these things involve my soul and how I feel inside, but I realized there’s more to my inner health than the basics. Being happy and feeling whole is more than getting enough sleep. It’s loving the person you are.

And that’s when my soul said, “Show me the love.”

her soul, my soul. ....yeah.