ghetto-pon

so i don't know if you guys know, but there's this website called groupon.com..... just kidding, i know you cool cats are with it. you probably use it more than i do.

...cheap asses (but who isn't these days?).

anyway, i had been keeping my eye out for a dry cleaning deal - as winter is quickly approaching and my winter coat could use a little washy wash. [i'm also keeping my eye out for a good laser hair removal deal, but that will be different blog... or maybe not]. finally, the day came when my inbox presented to me the daily deals: 68% off an hour long massage, 55% off hair salon services, $10 for $17 at your local grease joint, 42% off of a good time with Candy (....just kidding - this is groupon, not craigslist), $10 for $20 worth of dry cleaning, with free pick-up and drop-off.

winner, winner, chicken dinner.

the place was just off south grand a few miles from my house. a few weeks after i bought the deal, i call up there. no answer. hmmm. since it's just a few miles down grand, i decide to just drive up there and drop my stuff off. as i'm driving there, i realize - a lot changes in a few miles.

when i get there, the place looks similar to this. only smaller.

shit.

besides the sign with the business' name, there was a board over every surface of this little building. it is so boarded up that i'm not even sure how to get into it. i'm not sure what is a door and what isn't.

well. i already paid $10 for this...

there is a car parked out front as i approach the building and try to find anything that looks like a door knob. as i start to go to pull on what i think might be a door, a woman exits from another side of the building and goes to the car.

"front door is over here," she tells me.

"ok.." and i go towards her direction and see a pull handle hidden between a break in the wood.

"we're remodeling," she tells me, probably because the look on my face tells her i'm about to run. i walk into a 4x4 ft room that leads to a window with a man behind it. it is dark as the only light is shining through a small window to his left. does this place have electric? there is clothing in clear bags hanging up behind him.

"i, uh.... bought a groupon," i tell him, handing him my coat. "it's for $20, but i didn't know how much it would cost to get this cleaned."

he takes the coat, looks at it and says,"8 or 9 bucks."

"oh, well, can i bring in another coat, then? or something else to get cleaned?"

"well you're supposed to bring in $20 dollars worth of clothing at the same time."

"oh... so.. there's nothing you can do?"

after some persuasion, i get him to allow me to bring in another coat when i come to pick up the one i'm dropping off now.

"we'll work something out," he tells me. as i go to leave the small building, he rushes out,"don't slam the door! it is heavy and will slam down!"

"ok..." i say as i slowly close the piece of plywood with a pull handle, watching him disappear behind it. why, because if it slams the whole house will fall down? as i walk away i make a mental note: research places before you buy their groupon deal.

about an hour later i get a phone call from the dry cleaning place. a woman explains that she saw a missed call and was calling the number back.

"oh, i called earlier to see if you were open - but i already dropped my stuff off," i explain.

"oh, ok! i just saw a missed call and wanted to make sure! we were busy and it gets loud back here with all the fans!" she says cheerfully. i just think to myself...where are you in that little shack? because it was not loud in there. and i'm pretty sure if i looked further into the window i could view the entire building.

when i go to pick my coat up, i take kylie with me. not because i'm afraid, but i'm afraid.

"holy shit," she says when we pull up, despite my warning on our way there.

"yeah..." i reply. same thing i thought when i first saw it.

it's the same man behind the window counter. i exchange him my dirty coat for my now clean coat, reminding him of our little deal. he smiles when i express my thankfulness of his rule breaking.

when kylie and i leave, i forget to tell her to not slam the door. it slams. hard. the sound of the slap was loud to us on the outside, so i can only imagine the echo it made inside that little building.

"ohhhh, man!!!" i hear the man behind the window call out.

"sorry!" i yell back at the building, figuring he had to hear me through the plywood.

as we get in my car and start to drive away, kylie yells for me to stop. and then i see the man besides my drivers side window.

"i told you not to slam the door!" he exclaims. "and now you almost ran over my toes!!" despite him trying to be angry, i see a smile in his eyes.

"i'm sorry!" i say, trying not to laugh from the shock of him coming out to scold me. he walks back to the little shack door, and we drive away.

"...that was messed up." i say.

"i think he's really sad in there," kylie says in sympathy.

"who wouldn't be?"

"he just wants someone to talk to."

"...i'm glad i didn't use the free pick-up and drop-off. i'm not sure i want anyone working there knowing where i live."