sh*t my roommates say

happy new year kids. i hope this year is all you hope and dream for.

so as some of you may know, about 4 months ago i moved out on my own back into the city. well, not exactly on my own. with 4 others. specifically, 3 guys and 1 girl. needless to say, some entertaining conversation has gone on. i'll enlighten you.

on knee problems

(upon relatively just meeting my roommate scott, i tell him about my knee problems)

me - "i'm a runner, but they really hurt when i drive. they really hurt right now."

scott - "maybe you shouldn't spend so much time on your knees."

shocked at his implication with the little time we had spent together thus far, my jaw drops and i turn to look at him. and that's when i decided-

me - "...i like you."

on neighbors

kylie - "they seem kind of older."

me - "oh, no."

k - "well, not that old."

me - "like, they would have kids?"

k - "like, they would have grandkids."

me - "that's old."

k - "when i think old, i think of like, renal failure. this guy looked like he could have gone for a jog."

on big butts

kylie - "this is why i can't wear skinny jeans. my ass just falls right out of them."

adam - "you do have a big ass, just saying."

me - "wow."

adam - "i mean, it's seriously big."

me - "again. wow."

kylie - "yeah. that's why it's hard to find jeans that fit. i've actually considered buying a pair of apple bottom jeans."

me - "have you also considered buying a pair of boots with the fur?"

on fetishes

kylie - "you get excited about christmas the way we get excited about the antique roadshow."

me - "well you guys can watch that while i go wrap christmas presents. that's my ....forte (at the same time as)--"

scott - "--fetish?"

me - "yes, i have a christmas wrapping fetish."

scott - "(mockingly) oh, i get so wet when christmas wrapping!"

kylie - "not a sexual fetish, you perv."

me - "yeah, not all fetishes are sexual."

scott - "the good ones are..."

on icthys

scott - "look at that piece of junk." (referring to beat up car next to us in the parking lot)

me - "i thought it was nice."

scott - "it's even got a little jesus fish."

me - "aww."

scott - ''jesus isn't saving that car."

me - "bada boom bada bing."

mike - "it has many bada bings."

scott - "bada bing eerrrr crash ahhhhhh!!!"

on baked goods

me - "they're hot. i just took them out of the oven." (ignoring me, mike grabs a muffin and stuffs the entire thing into his mouth."

mike - "hauuuhhfffffff hauuuhhhfffff mmmhauff good hauuhhfff."

me - "you can't even taste it right now, can you."

mike - "no, it's good!"

a half hour later when he eats another--

mike - "mmmhh, these really are good!!"

me - "jesus christ."

on choosing the appropriate icing

me - "mike, kaylin says you need cream cheese or caramel icing for butter pecan cake. not vanilla."

scott - "pshhh who you think knows more about icing, mike or some chick who hooked up with matt jackson?" [kaylin, i defended your honor!!]

you may not understand that last one. just laugh. more to come i'm sure.

me and my only other girl roommate, kylie>>

so i don't have a picture with all of the roommates, but here's pretty close. me and the boys - scott, adam, and mike. please ignore that i look highly intoxicated. it was the first drink i swear.

me and michael>>