read a book, grow a vagina

just so you guys know, i read books.

i know. i know you're thinking, "omggg you're so vintage i got my kindle, like, eighty billion years ago."

shut up.

anyway, when i'm not on here, facebook, twitter, gmail, hotmail, youtube, hulu, wanelo, google images of this>>

in other words -- when i'm not nose to nose with my computer, i'll read. sometimes.

recently, my english-major roommate has been feeding books to me. first i read Looking For Alaska. This book was awesome. i think i cried. i can't remember. i either did or i almost did. and by "cry", i mean a tear slithered out, went half-way down my cheek, then crawled back up into my inner canthus before even God saw it. i blame my childhood.

here are some of the best quotes from this book:

"Truth or Dare, Pudge?"
"Dare."
"Hook up with me"
So I did.

"What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox."

When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did.

Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.

yeah. it's awesome. and you could read it in a couple hours. it's only 160 pages.

the rest of the books i've gotten from my roommate are the problem. they are Nora Roberts novels. romance novels, people. romance. and it's a problem because they are putting all these ideas in my head. seriously. they're turning me into a huge pussy. i find myself talking about things that i don't talk about. things like "when i get married..." and "i want a boyfriend" --and i think this may be the first time i've ever said this in my life. i don't think i'm even thinking these things when i say them, they just come out.
immediately after, i freeze and look around to see if anyone heard me. my roommates will be quietly sitting, eyes-wide, jaws-opened, with the most frightened look on their faces. no one moving, no one breathing. shit.

this is what it would look like in a perfect world, because ideally my roommates would be asian:
"...i'm just kidding you guys."
"no you weren't."
"yes, i was." then i'll leave the room.

next. we are all in the living room. watching a movie, messing around on our laptops.

"...nicki, what are you doing?"
me: "...nothing."
"are you looking at wedding dresses?"
me: "no."
"um, yes you are, nicki, what the hell??"
"I'M CURIOUS," i angrily stab back.

so. this is what these novels have done to me. i'm a violently defensive, mushy love ball. i hope you're all happy.


this concludes my book review because now i'm getting pissed off. BYE I LOVE YOU.