Wiseman Lesli

my mom has given me a lot of good advice.

my dad has also given me a lot of advice. if i had listened to him, i probably wouldn't have spent my entire senior year of high school grounded.

but my mom has told me things that have just stuck. they are literally etched into my brain.

here are a few things that i question to myself on a regular basis:
1. is that really what time it is
2. did i put deodorant on
3. what's for lunch
4. what's for dinner
5. how much are those shoes
6. is he single

7. what about his friend

8. am i doing what i am supposed to be doing in life
9. should i move
10. where should i move
11. did i have homework (before i graduated, this was a question i asked myself everyday)
12. why did i do that
13. why did this happen
14. why are there so many asians here

these are just a few. sometimes i think too much.

and, although i hate to admit it, sometimes i'm a mess. when this happens, usually i want to know the why's. why this. why that. why did i do that really stupid thing. why does this person suck. why am i being such a pussy about it. i feel like if i can just know why something is the way it is, if i can understand why something happened, i'll feel better. and maybe that's true sometimes. but a lot of the time, it really doesn't matter why something happened or why things are the way they are. they just are.

i know i'm not alone in this. in fact, i'm pretty sure if you're human, a vampire, or this small kitten --

you've felt this way. at least once.

(if you laughed when you just saw this picture, you are not a human, vampire, or small kitten - you are satin. the kitten is in serious distress and calling to God on his grief and angst. shame on you. ...and no, that is not a cat toy swinging down tormenting the kitten.)

usually when i'm in the state of mind of asking why's, i go to my mom. she's the most comforting person i know to go to when i'm feeling less than myself. not only has she been through pretty much everything that life can throw at you, she's still mostly normal [ :) jk, mom]. which means she can pass on how the hell she made it through life to me so that i can survive. basically, she's my wiseman.

one particular late night when was in distress, i went to my wiseman. and when wiseman lesli spoke, this is what she said:

"you're not going to know why. you're never going to find out why this happened, or why that person did this, or why you did that. no one may even know exactly why. the only person that knows is God. and there is nothing you can do about it. you can't keep asking why, you just have to accept things as they are and give the rest to God. Let Him take care of it."

wiseman has spoken.

an old pic of me and wiseman. i had to threaten a life many times to get this off facebook. it never worked, so i settled with an untag. but by this picture, clearly i need wiseman's help.